Meeting Safely

Effective

Contents

Beau’s whole job is to get two people from a post to a real hello. That is a different kind of meeting from a dating app: you may already have seen each other, but you know less than you think. This page is what we ask you to keep in mind, from the first message to the walk home. It is referenced in the Terms of Service.

First, what Beau does not do. We don’t verify anyone’s identity or age. We don’t run background checks. We don’t confirm that the person who said “that might be me” is the person you saw, or that a match between two posts is the same encounter. We don’t know what happened at the bar. Everything below follows from that.

Before you say yes

A claim is a statement, not a fact. When someone raises their hand on your post, Beau opens a conversation because you both agreed to talk, not because we checked. Treat the first messages as an introduction to a stranger, because that is what they are, even if you’re sure you recognize them.

Let them prove it, gently. Ask something only the person who was there would know: what the bartender said, what you were wearing, which platform the train left from. Someone impersonating the person in your post won’t have the details. Someone who was there will enjoy the question.

Keep the conversation in Beau until you’re comfortable. Moving to a phone number or another app early hands over a permanent identifier, and takes the conversation outside the place where you can block, report and be protected by the consent gate.

Go slow with identifying details. Your full name, where you work, where you live, your daily route: none of these are needed to arrange a coffee. Share them when you have a reason to trust, not because it feels rude to withhold them.

Ask for a live look. A short video call, or a photo taken right now holding up a specific number of fingers, is a low-cost way to confirm the person you’re talking to matches the person you saw.

Consent is reversible, at every step. You said yes to a conversation. That is not a yes to a meeting, a photo, or anything else. You can leave a conversation, block, or decline a meeting at any point, and so can they. A decline on Beau is delivered plainly and attributed, so you’ll know where you stand.

Choosing where and when

Meet somewhere public, with people around, and stay there for the first meeting. The place where you first saw each other can be a lovely choice, but pick a time when it’s busy, not when it’s closing.

Tell someone. Give a friend the name of the place, the time, and what you know about who you’re meeting. Agree on a check-in text. Share your live location with them from your phone if you like.

Get yourself there and back. Arrange your own transport. Don’t get into their car, and don’t let them drive you home, on the first meeting. Keep enough charge and money to leave on your own at any moment.

Stay in charge of your drink. Watch it poured, keep it with you, and don’t accept one you didn’t see made. If you start to feel wrong in a way that doesn’t match what you’ve had, tell staff and get somewhere safe.

Think about who else can see. A Beau meeting is often near where one of you was already known to be. If you are not out, or they might not be, choose a place where being seen together doesn’t say anything about either of you.

While you’re there

Trust your gut. If something feels off, it is fine to leave. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, a second drink, or a goodbye. “I’m going to head out” is a complete sentence.

Keep the first meeting short and sober enough that you can make decisions you’ll be happy with tomorrow.

Consent, again. Going home with someone is a separate decision from meeting them, and anything physical is a separate decision again. Ask, listen, and stop if the answer changes. Anyone who pushes past a no is telling you everything you need to know.

Stay off Beau’s screens while you’re together. Your posts and conversations are yours; showing them to the person across the table shares other people’s words and photos too.

Substances and sexual health

If you use anything, know what it is, know your dose, and don’t mix with someone whose supply you don’t know. Never leave someone who is unresponsive; call emergency services, and know that many places have laws protecting people who call for help.

Talk about sexual health before you need to. Testing, PrEP, vaccination and condoms are ordinary parts of a conversation between adults. Beau does not collect or display anyone’s HIV status; that is a conversation for the two of you, and it is a kindness to have it early. For testing information and a locator for testing sites near you, see the CDC’s guide at cdc.gov/sti/testing.

Money and scams

Never send money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency to anyone you met on Beau, however good the story. Someone who asks is a scammer, and Beau’s rules prohibit it: report them.

Watch for the pattern: fast emotional escalation, a reason to move off Beau immediately, a crisis that only money can fix, or a request for an explicit photo followed by a threat to share it. That last one is sextortion. Don’t pay, stop replying, keep the messages, and report it to us and to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov. Paying does not end it.

A “claim” can be a hook. Someone claiming your post to open a chat and then steering to money or explicit photos was never the person you saw. Report the claim as false.

Your location, and this app

Beau can tell you when a post was written near where you were, if you turn Nearby on. Nearby records a coarse location trail (about a city block) while the app is closed, and nobody, including you, can read it back; it is only compared against posts. It is off by default. If you’d rather Beau not hold any record of where you’ve been, leave it off, or turn it off at any time, which erases the trail completely.

A post describes a place and a time. That’s true of yours too. If you’re not comfortable being placed at a venue, don’t post from it, and think twice before RSVPing to an event whose guest list other members can see.

Notifications can show a message on your lock screen. If people around you can see your phone, turn off previews in your device settings.

If you travel

Being gay, bi or trans is criminalized in dozens of countries, and in others the police use apps like this one to find people. Before you travel, check the law where you’re going. In those places: turn Nearby off, consider removing your photos or your account while there, be wary of anyone who wants to meet quickly, and don’t carry a phone full of your Beau history through a border you’re worried about.

If something goes wrong

If you’re in danger now, call local emergency services. Beau is not an emergency service.

Report it to us. Every profile, post and message has a report option. Tell us what happened; the more detail, the faster we act. We act on every report within 24 hours, and we treat reports of violence, sexual assault, threats, outing and anything involving a minor as emergencies. Reporting is confidential. If we need to, we will preserve records and cooperate with law enforcement under valid legal process.

Block them. Blocking removes you from each other’s view immediately and closes any conversation.

You are not alone, and it was not your fault. These organizations help, and they know queer people:

What we ask of you

Every guideline on this page has a mirror in the Community Guidelines: describe moments, not locations; don’t post about someone who’s asked you to stop; never out anyone; ask before you send anything explicit. Keeping other people safe on Beau is mostly the same thing as keeping yourself safe. Thank you for doing both.

Questions or concerns about safety on Beau: safety@heybeau.app.